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March 29th, 2016, 3:21 pm

Average Rating: None

Crazy Comments:

Reply lazerbeam, March 29th, 2016, 4:20 pm


And this is why you don't give somebody like me ideas

Reply Advertisement, October 19th, 2017, 10:25 pm

Viewer's Comments:

Reply WolfryHedgies, March 29th, 2016, 3:29 pm

@Supersonic4th: And you thought the comic page was alive but it's broken.

Just like Bre's face in the last page.

Reply Electrisa, March 29th, 2016, 3:42 pm

...uh, I think you should consider making it clearer which speechbubbles are whose? It looks like the orange guy is having a monologue in the second panel. Uuunless that was intended

Reply supersonicfan0, March 29th, 2016, 3:43 pm

No comic sans when quoting Sans. 0/10

Reply Spekkal_X2, March 29th, 2016, 3:44 pm

Why does everyone's dark side want to murder for the sake of murder? Murder is overrated. You know what IS evil? Stealing someone's left shoe. Now THAT'S diabolical.
And why does everyone's dark side get out when someone so much as pokes them
why are they so common
I don't understand I'm so confused and scared

Reply Electrisa, March 29th, 2016, 3:46 pm

@Spekkal_X2: because dark side is what cool kids are all about these days. Get on with the times, Spek. Murder is totally rad, let's go and grab a wicked sword to cut off some preps' heads while skateboarding

Reply supersonicfan0, March 29th, 2016, 3:49 pm

@Spekkal_X2: I know, right? It's implying that they can't keep it together if they order a burger and there are no pickles. They deserve the **** that Jacques puts them through.

Reply WolfryHedgies, March 29th, 2016, 3:54 pm

@Supersonic4th: Well then you forgot to use the thing under the upload page thing.

Reply supersonicfan0, March 29th, 2016, 3:56 pm

@Supersonic4th: Accept NO substitute!

Reply Electrisa, March 29th, 2016, 4:00 pm

@supersonicfan0: You know what, that could be forgiven
What hurts me more is that the reference in this case doesn't even fit in with Sans' character :c

Reply Spekkal_X2, March 29th, 2016, 4:10 pm

ok i apologise I'm just really in the mood to talk about this
And disclaimer that I'm not saying anyone's bad or better or whatever, I'm just offering advice on storytelling which may or may not go entirely over everyone's head because chances are no-one will read this so i can say anything like elec sucks eggs.

Okay so, for the moment, we know nothing about James. We don't know what he's like, we just know that he's obsessed with Gotenko because of an old friendship and wants to help him out. And that's good! Character interactions and such are good! It helps development!
But that's really... all we know about him.
Which means when things like this happen, and so quickly since you've only posted about 3-4 comics max, it means the audience won't really, uh, care. Because we don't know the character. Because there isn't any pacing.

And well, pacing is key for storytelling.
You can't rush ahead and do things. We've known this character for about.. 3 pages, and suddenly he has another person inside of him and suddenly drama is happening? It's, well, rushed. Because rather than the audience going 'oh no, we need to help him control his dark urges!' we're, or at least I'm (and of course I don't reflect anyone so you're entirely free to ignore all of this) going 'oh ok' because everything is being thrown at us suddenly.

I get wanting to do this sort of thing? I mean, plots about your character is fun. Drama can be fun! Fights can be REALLY fun! But plots for the sake of plots without much reason arent', and drama for the sake of drama is less so, and fights over the flimsiest of reasons make a character look... well, unrelatable. Distant.

Ignoring the concept as a thing, because it's your character and you're entirely free to do as you wish, I just think maybe, personally, in my own opinion and I do stress this because again you're not inclined to listen to me at all, that you should allow the audience a chance to know who James is as a character first, without pulling in things which will have us lose sympathy and, well, care.

tldr; try not to rush ahead and think about pacing, because a storyline will fall apart if it ends within a few comics.

And again I'm not saying I'm better, blah blah, I'm just someone who's offering their own personal advice through their own experiences and having learnt from them.

Reply Electrisa, March 29th, 2016, 4:24 pm

@lazerbeam: ...oh
Rip purple guy i guess

@Supersonic4th: eeeither way would you mind if I replied to your comic? As in, made a follow up? ...except tomorrow, cause it's almost midnight and i have school. Sorry if that sounds silly? I just dunno how you guys create posting order and keep things in place so it's not a big mess...

Reply Spekkal_X2, March 29th, 2016, 4:34 pm

@Kitsunah: AMEN, GOOD SIR. AMEN.

Reply lazerbeam, March 29th, 2016, 4:43 pm

@Kitsunah: Ehh... I agree with you mostly.

It kinda depends on what type of villain you're going for.

You can either go for a narrative driven villain or a force of nature villain.

You've described a narrative villain, Jacques arguably falls under this category (though antagonist is a better word for him), he stands against us and we (mostly) naturally reject his ideals because they conflict with ours (restriction for safety against freedom to be as destructive as we please), even though he had a perfectly valid point and is willing to do what it takes to get it across.

A force of nature villain is more a caricature then an actual character, like the Joker, who exists purely to act as the chaos to Batman's order.
and I don't recall any moment where I felt even a piece of sympathy for that nutcase.

Reply Electrisa, March 29th, 2016, 4:46 pm

@Supersonic4th: well, I'll try, but like I said I can't even start until like 17 hours from now xP

Reply Spekkal_X2, March 29th, 2016, 4:48 pm

@Supersonic4th: Hey, no worries! I was the same, so honestly it just takes experience to get better. And you can't have experience without blunders, because no-one's perfect! If you need any help or advice, I'm here to help!
It depends on the stories you want to tell, really. If its a thing where he's by himself and you want to show the backstory, I'd personally suggest filler but Connor may say otherwise for it? You'll have to ask him.

And as for fleshing out a character, maybe have him just, well, be James for a bit? Have him interact with others. Make more friendships. Give other characters a reason to care, so when that shift does happen, there'll be people there willing to help him, because they have a reason to.
Obviously, this comic is here, so how about we focus on Spectre for now? And we try and solidify his personality and motives?

Reply lazerbeam, March 29th, 2016, 4:48 pm

BEFORE YOU FREAK OUT... @Supersonic4th: showcase, check it

Reply Electrisa, March 30th, 2016, 12:23 pm

@Supersonic4th: haa sorry, turns out my idea had a few loopholes that I failed to notice until today, so my followup wouldn't make any sense, so I can't make it 8'D sorry for inconvenieeeence

Reply GokentoPower, March 30th, 2016, 7:05 pm


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